Bus Trip To Awakening
In my early twenties I went a road trip to Rochester and Buffalo, to see the Kodak museum of photography, and visit Kaplau’s Zen center. And visit a family in
Buffalo, that used to live in our neighborhood, a family that seemed like vanguard intellectuals, that I felt a sense of freedom around. I found out they were just depressed self obsessed alcoholics, and left there home a bit depressed.
After traveling for a few days on Greyhound and Trail ways Buses, having experienced wonderful and interesting events, old master photographs at the Kodak museum, that inspired me greatly, magic macrobiotic vegetarian food at a little restaurant, and a evening of sitting at a formal Zen group. I was on my return trip home on a bus that was suppose to be the express bus non stop, some how I was misled and ended up on a local, a creaky old bus about a comfortable as a school bus. That took over six hours to go 80 miles, on the bus were these old farmers, country folk, very unhealthy over weight , classic red necks. A pretty young girl sat down next to me on the bus, we started talking about the world and stuff and religion came up and I tried to explain to her about karma. I explained it like cause and effect and how everything was connected and what ever we did out in the world was going to eventually effect us one way or another.
The result of this encounter on the bus was palatable, it was like heat in a oven, “Son you don’t go fill in that young girls head with your eastern religion bull crap, she’s a American Christian”, the angry glaring stares from everyone on the bus was beyond description.
After the girl left the bad vibing was like being psychically cursed by a whole village.
The anger that built up in me was amazing, rage furious rage at the bus agent that I believed misled me intentionally about the bus , how much time I was wasting, how hungry and tired I was, how this ride never seemed like it was ever going to end. The bus stopped in every small town along the route. Time was compressed each hour was like many hours, I felt like I was in a episode of the Twilight Zone.
So I took out a note book and filled it with all this anger, depressed raging on and on.
When suddenly out of the blue, a thought occurred to me, this just your mind leading you around, this is just a bunch of thoughts, and in a nano-second I was filled with joy and bliss. It was a level of epiphany I don’t think I had ever encountered. It was beyond amazing it was miraculous, and it stuck for almost a month. I walked on air.
The insight that my thoughts and emotions weren’t me and I wasn’t stuck with them, was a insight that has never left me. I don’t know if that was a kensho or a enlightenment but it has been a wonderful part of life ever since that moment.
“Saving all sentient beings” is the Bodhisattva vow, and I wonder how this can be done,
but it seems that if people could get a handle on how, they aren’t their thoughts, no matter how powerful or persuasive the thoughts appear or seem to be, that shared insight would go a along way to stop a great deal of needless suffering in the world.
Buffalo, that used to live in our neighborhood, a family that seemed like vanguard intellectuals, that I felt a sense of freedom around. I found out they were just depressed self obsessed alcoholics, and left there home a bit depressed.
After traveling for a few days on Greyhound and Trail ways Buses, having experienced wonderful and interesting events, old master photographs at the Kodak museum, that inspired me greatly, magic macrobiotic vegetarian food at a little restaurant, and a evening of sitting at a formal Zen group. I was on my return trip home on a bus that was suppose to be the express bus non stop, some how I was misled and ended up on a local, a creaky old bus about a comfortable as a school bus. That took over six hours to go 80 miles, on the bus were these old farmers, country folk, very unhealthy over weight , classic red necks. A pretty young girl sat down next to me on the bus, we started talking about the world and stuff and religion came up and I tried to explain to her about karma. I explained it like cause and effect and how everything was connected and what ever we did out in the world was going to eventually effect us one way or another.
The result of this encounter on the bus was palatable, it was like heat in a oven, “Son you don’t go fill in that young girls head with your eastern religion bull crap, she’s a American Christian”, the angry glaring stares from everyone on the bus was beyond description.
After the girl left the bad vibing was like being psychically cursed by a whole village.
The anger that built up in me was amazing, rage furious rage at the bus agent that I believed misled me intentionally about the bus , how much time I was wasting, how hungry and tired I was, how this ride never seemed like it was ever going to end. The bus stopped in every small town along the route. Time was compressed each hour was like many hours, I felt like I was in a episode of the Twilight Zone.
So I took out a note book and filled it with all this anger, depressed raging on and on.
When suddenly out of the blue, a thought occurred to me, this just your mind leading you around, this is just a bunch of thoughts, and in a nano-second I was filled with joy and bliss. It was a level of epiphany I don’t think I had ever encountered. It was beyond amazing it was miraculous, and it stuck for almost a month. I walked on air.
The insight that my thoughts and emotions weren’t me and I wasn’t stuck with them, was a insight that has never left me. I don’t know if that was a kensho or a enlightenment but it has been a wonderful part of life ever since that moment.
“Saving all sentient beings” is the Bodhisattva vow, and I wonder how this can be done,
but it seems that if people could get a handle on how, they aren’t their thoughts, no matter how powerful or persuasive the thoughts appear or seem to be, that shared insight would go a along way to stop a great deal of needless suffering in the world.
